Rewind to two weeks ago tomorrow. I got a strange message from someone I didn't know on Facebook. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it was someone being creepy by telling me my husband was cheating on me and trying to pick up barflies at his favorite bar he went to on Fridays after he got off work. I showed it to him. When he got home that night, he looked me in the eye and told me it was true. I was in honest shock and in tears. He hadn't slept with anyone that I knew of, yet, but I was ready to work with him and figure out how to fix us. The most he was willing to give me was I am willing to try.
Fast forward to last Sunday. I wasn't feeling well after work. Honestly that whole week I had not been sleeping well. Who wouldn't sleep well when you find out the man you love had tried to cheat on you? He had went out, and in the time I had taken my nap, he had done it. He returned with a hickey on his neck that I didn't make, the teeth marks still red and fresh from it. That was when I was just done. I left. He did one of only two things that would make me just walk away from a relationship. The other would have been if he laid his hands on me in anger.
This week has been a whirlwind of trials and tribulations. Everything from making sure our finances were split from one another to me moving myself out of our home. There is still a few things left to do, but for the most part we are split. I won't lie, this shit hurts. It is like watching someone thrust their hand into your chest, rip your heart out and crush it to dust right before your eyes. I've cried more times than I want to talk about. He is being civil, which is good in the long run but right now it just hurts. I try to stay a little mad, because it wasn't me that was unfaithful. It was him. I am by no means a perfect person. I'll admit I'm messy, disorganized and scatterbrained. I'll own that. But I know deep down that I didn't deserve him being unfaithful.
The reason why I am not a blubbering mess, my parents and my friends. My parents have given me a place to stay while I get myself back on my feet. They are putting up with my mess of things and being trained by my sweet little Border Collie. I can never thank them enough. My friends have been there for me, let me ugly cry while they listened and offered support and kind words. I can never thank them enough.
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